It’s been awhile since I have committed to just about anything, including blogging. Except for that whole fiancĂ© business I have spent much of the last year in Survival Mode-that place where you’re just trying to get by. And I have gotten through many things over the past few months: the move, the other move, the buying of a home, the new city, the new job, the loss of MAO, the gain of a new volunteer endeavor, the new cat, and new dog, the acceptance of a new job offer, the engagement, and the loss of someone who meant the world to me. It’s been a whirlwind. I don’t think my brain has caught up to my body, or really that my brain has been wholly present as of late. The struggle post grad is REAL, the struggle after ending my MAO journey is REAL, and the struggle of adapting to so many major moments is REAL.
Now that the school year has ended, and life has slowed down, I was able to realize I needed something; something to focus on, I needed to be frank with myself and that meant evaluating my own happiness. Now there are plenty of you thinking “Focus on your wedding,” and I’m sure I could do that (and trust me, I’m planning away ☺,) but what I really need is to focus on me a bit more.
And in typical me fashion I needed a large-scale goal that was 1. Reflective, 2. Attainable, and 3. Not something that would become a burden but something that would be a blessing.
I’m doing 365 Days of Happy. 365 Days of blogs, I’m sure some will be MUCH longer than others. It’s sort of my extension of the Instagram/Facebook 100 Happy Days challenge. I am in the midst of that challenge (Day 85) and I realize it isn’t giving me what I need. So I’m doing my own thing. Now I’m thinking there is probably someone who has done this before, pause as I Google it….
Couldn’t find much. Guess I’m the first crazy person. Let’s pretend we’re shocked……oh wait…
In doing 365 Days of Happy blogging I’m committing to a few things:
1. My physical health
2. My spiritual health
3. My mental wellbeing
4. My relationships
5. My Bucket List
These are the things I will choose to pursue for my happiness. These are the things I will spend my energy thinking of. I’m also choosing to do this on a separate blogging platform, as a sort of standalone. Red Hot Tempered needs a Red Hot Hiatus. I also like to think it gives me anonymity….except for the 600 odd Facebook friends I share it with.
So the start of something new, my 365 Days of Happy….I hope next year isn’t a Leap Year….This is where I focus on meaningful reflection and all of the things that make me happy.
Happily,
Red
365daysofhappyblog.blogspot.com
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Girl Power.
Every year my Facebook feed floods with comments, photos,
and statuses about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Fat shaming, calling
people’s lifestyles unhealthy or grotesque, insinuating the women must
having eating disorders, not to mention the frequent comments objectifying the
women on the runway. I’m so done. Over it.
The models who walk the runway dedicate their lives to being
fit to appear. Are some of them very thin? Yes. Are they some of the most
beautiful women I have ever seen? Yes. Should they be accused of having eating
disorders merely because they are deemed to thin for what our society considers
“average?” Absolutely not.
And yet tonight there will certainly be the posts that are
some variation of….
“I wish I could look like them! They are sooooo [insert
adjective here that I think I absolutely am NOT} OMG I wish I was that
skinny/tall/blonde/leggy. “
Let’s have this talk….chances are you don’t look exactly like a Victoria’s Secret Model.
You know what? You’re still beautiful. You’re still worthy of time. Respect.
Love. And opportunity. Don’t use this as an opportunity to convince yourself of
what you are not. Use this as an opportunity to look at some cute bra’s, drink
some wine with your girlfriends, listen to overplayed pop music, and celebrate.
Celebrate being a
woman. Being a strong, capable, confident woman. The sooner you learn to
embrace as much as you can about yourself, the happier your life will be. We
all have things we are dissatisfied with, just as many of the woman who walk
that runway probably do as well. Nobody looks in the mirror 100% of the time
thinking “DANG, I’m fine.” Nope.
And remember…. As women the sooner we remember to stand
together, the better. Care for your fellow women, respect your fellow women,
and support your fellow women. Don’t use this as an opportunity to shame
yourself or other women; it’s not the point.
Now pour yourself some wine and enjoy the show J
Saturday, November 16, 2013
13 Things I Learned in 2013
It’s been awhile. Like 100 some days awhile. And in that
time I have done virtually nothing besides move cross country, start a new job,
move again, adopt two new pets, buy a used car, and generally realize Utah and
Michigan are about as opposite as salt and pepper.
These last three months were just a small portion of what I
have been kindly referring to as the “Year from Hell.” In fact, I am keeping a
countdown until 2014 (46 days) in the hopes that it can be a very symbolic, and
significantly improved, year for me. On paper, 2013 had many highlights: new
job, exciting city, finally getting a puppy. At the end of the day though, 2013
has been the most emotionally exhausting year of my, and Chafonda’s, life.
My hiatus from blogging has been predominantly because of my
exhaustion. That and my mother taught me, if you don’t have anything nice to
say you don’t say anything at all. And frankly as 2013 was coming to a close I
had nothing nice to say. Until now. That and people kept bugging me so I caved
(honesty is always the best policy.)
Without further ado, the 13 Things I Learned in 2013.
13. I was definitely not wrong when I watched Mary-Kate and
Ashley movies: I was meant to be a twin. And this spring I learned just that.
The most important point here is that you know your body better than anyone.
Listen to your instincts, and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re “fine” when
you feel anything but. Be your own advocate at all times, no matter the
situation.
12. You will wait forever. No one can be responsible for
your happiness. They can try, and bless them, someone will try so very hard in
your life. When it comes down to it, you’re the one that has to make changes,
you have to alter your own path, and steer yourself to happiness. Don’t expect
someone to do it for you.
11. Tattoos on fingers hurt the most. This is not yet a
scientifically proven fact, but it should be. They also must be redone often. I
still love mine.
10. AMEN. People make choices, decisions, mistakes. So do
you. Just because you think you have made a better one does not give you a
right to judge. And a constant need to judge others just leaves you empty.
Don’t assume you are better than someone. The moment you do you have already
lost.
9. This goes without saying much. Some people won’t like
you. Ready for my harsh truth: get over it. Move on. Who cares? Happens to the
best of us. 2013 was a great teacher of that for me.
8. There will come a time as an adult where there are no
take-backs. Sometimes you can’t unsend the text, you can’t rewind your words.
Always choose them carefully, especially with those you love. It is possible to
communicate anger without being hurtful. Don’t let yourself learn this lesson
the hard way. If your words appeared on your skin would you be more careful with what you said?
7. There’s a place called “Dunford Bakers.” They have the best
donuts in the world. I’m not kidding. My favorite part of Utah? Not the snow
covered mountains, the Dunford Donuts. Game-changers.
6. After college, or after being in close proximity ends,
you find out who your friends are. Which people will still be a part of your
life, and who will show they want to be? Who are the friends that will
transcend the all nighters, late summer nights, and tailgates? Who will stand
up with you at your wedding? Who will genuinely care about your happiness?
5. It’s okay to have really good days, and really bad days.
It is okay to eat a chocolate donut on those bad days. It is not okay to let
yourself make every day a bad one. Sometimes you have to stop crying, put the
Oreos away, wash your face, and go for a walk. Maybe that means telling
yourself today will be better. One day you will believe it more than others,
and it will get better.
4. Life is WAY too short to safeguard your opinions from the
judgmental eye of others. Own up to how you feel and what you believe in, even
if it is unpopular. Don’t apologize for being who you are. Utah has only
reaffirmed this in me lately. I am definitely not in the majority here. My
motto, “Oh well!” I’m proud of how I was raised.
3. This is the lesson that my mother has attempted to
instill in me since I was in utero. Not only is it okay to say “No,” it is
wise. It is a sign of maturity. It is key in controlling your own destiny. You
don’t have to always be the “yes-woman.” Leave that nonsense to politicians.
2. Take a giant risk. Go for it. Move cross country 1,500
miles away from the world you have known for 23 years. It will be scary, and
you will cry in hotel rooms from Iowa, to Nebraska, to Wyoming, but some
mornings you will wake up and see the sun rise over the mountains. That’s when
it all feels okay for the moment. Without these risks comes the “what if,” and
that translates to regret.
1. Your own self-doubt is the greatest barrier to your
wellness, and success. The voices in your head, they will hold you back more
than 99.9% of the voices of others. This also goes with risk-taking. Sometimes
you have to ignore everyone else and do what is right for you. I took two
opportunities this year that I knew weren’t right for me, but I felt I HAD to
take them. When I failed (which I knew I would), I felt so embarrassed.
Quickly, I realized I have to focus on my positive intentions, abandon the
self-doubt, and do what my gut leads me to. Very rarely is my gut wrong, and
most often she leads me to great Pad-Thai.
Thanks 2013, here's to a new year. Cheers!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Don't Let Your Fear Decide Your Fate
We have officially survived day two of our epic adventure.
I’m sitting in Cheyenne, Wyoming, also known as “Cowboy Country” eating sushi
(weird mix I know). Today was highlighted by: Nebraska.
For those of you who are planning your next family
vacation/road trip let me make some recommendations: don’t drive through
Nebraska. If the dense fog, endless corn fields, longest single interstate
straightaway in the country, or the 400 mile wide state don’t turn you away,
then maybe the fact that the highway is missing in half the state will. BUT we
made it safely to Wyoming, which has already won me over more than Nebraska
(Sorry cornhuskers!)
The middle of any long move is the hardest time. For me,
yesterday was “easy.” We had just left home and had eagerness on our side, and
tomorrow as we pull into SLC we have excitement on our side. (Plus you have the
best road snacks the first day!) Today though, in the middle of the country, I
am over 1,100 miles from my old home, and nearly 450 away from my new one. And
this is the beginning of a transition that will probably take a while. And on
my top ten list of favorite things to do, transitions aren’t my favorite.
They’re a solid 36.
But there is a theme for the day. Matt kept playing a song
every few hours and the chorus said “Don’t
let your fear decide your fate.” It. Was. Perfect. My fears about this huge
move, and all of these transitions, were certainly surfacing on day two and
this was my gentle reminder to take it all in stride. Allowing my fear to take
control and consume me was only going to make the transition so much worse. So
this evening, I deep breathe, snuggle Peaches, and look forward to arriving in
my new home tomorrow!
Here are some pictures from today!
Peaches, probably begging me to not stuff her in the car again!
So much Nebraska fog.
This was train #8 today.
Wyoming: already a HUGE improvement on Nebraska.
Sushi :)
Delicious Japanese food. YUM.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Cross Country Move Day One: Cornfields
24 hours ago I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to make
it through today, mentally/emotionally/physically. Here we are, 24 hours later,
safely reporting from Omaha, Nebraska- the corn state (not sure if this is true
but it should be because let me tell you, there is some CORN here).
4 pitstops.
5 states.
10 hours of driving.
635 miles.
And we have arrived in the middle of nowhere
Nebraska. So far the driving has included a few milestones:
Leaving Michigan.
The Chicago skyline from afar.
World’s largest American flag.
Many a construction barrel.
Crossing the mighty Mississippi.
And corn.
So. Much. Corn.
I have yet to realize that I’m not returning to Michigan
this time. It’s not like visiting before to set up accounts, or lease my place,
or tour my school. This is the final time/real deal. I even was saving quarters
for the “toll on the way home” when Matt politely reminded me we were headed to
a new home (and thus didn’t need toll for Illinois). Don’t get me wrong, I’m
WAY excited- new job, new city, new place, new experiences. BUT as is always
true, so many new things are a lot to deal with at once.
I find the best way to deal with this is to take it in a
little at a time. So today I made it to Nebraska. Matt, myself, and Peaches are
all in one piece and for tonight that is alright. Now we eat pizza, watch ESPN,
and for a moment I forget I’m in one giant cornfield. I promise tomorrow to
have significantly more insight or intellectual thought!
XOXO Natalie
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