A note before we begin: This is the longest I have ever gone without blogging. Sowwy :(
As I sit here eating homemade sorbet (which will change your life) I have been driven to blog for two reasons. The first being that I am getting messages/texts/etc. from people who keep asking if I am still alive (I am! Chafonda didn’t win!) The second being I am to the point where I need some kind of catharsis from the stress that is living inside of my world. Stress that screams to me from unpacked boxes, piles to take to Goodwill and a general chaos that is causing my cat to pull out my hair. Seriously. I have a collection of photographic evidence.
She sits there, and eats my hair.
This stress stems from something I call: My mom was right. Yes, you heard it hear first. My mom always seems to be right! How does this happen? She pays someone I swear.
From the time I was about 8 years old I wanted to be 12, and by then I was headed to 16, and at that point I frankly wanted to be graduating college. To say I wanted to be ahead was an understatement. SO many times I would tell my mom, “Why can’t I be doing this right now? I wish ___________ was over (_________ was usually high school and then freshman year and then summer, etc.) Often, in all of her astute wisdom my mom would prescribe ice cream, a bubble bath, and a “Don’t wish your life away Natalie O’fallon” to slow me down.
And while my mom had the right idea, to slow down and relax, the world had, and has still, a very different one. Often you enter college and the first year people tell you to take your time and enjoy it, get settled in. Then after you have survived that they ask you, “When do you graduate?” They want you to hurry up and get there, wait out freshmen year, hurry up and graduate, and then what?
It’s all hurry-up and wait. Hurry up and apply to college, but wait to choose which one is right. Hurry up and finish college, wait for a job in this economy. Hurry up and find a partner, but don’t you dare get married, wait. Hurry up and figure out the who, what, where, when and why of your life, but wait to actually get any of those things in place. I know I can’t be the only one who used to dream of a time where I would have a job in my field, a reliable used car, and maybe an apartment that actually would make me proud to have people over (you laugh but I’m 100% serious, and also 100% grateful of what I do have). So I patiently hurried along all of the things I was supposed to and now, for a year, I have been waiting.
Soon the waiting will be over. In less than 10 days I am moving cross country to pursue that career I hurried up to get. In the meantime this year of waiting, and in many ways a year of trials and disappointments, has served to teach me that my mom was right. Don’t wish your life away. The periods of rush-rush and the periods of waiting and longing, they are there for a reason. This year has showed me what I really want, and that is something to be valued. This year has also showed me why Ben and Jerry’s may be an excellent stock option.
After waiting months to be gainfully employed in a new classroom of 8th graders, in a matter of days (1 month from tomorrow to be exact) it will be the 1st day of school in a new school, new city, and a new state. So here goes nothing!
P.S.- On my tip cross country I will be blogging every night in the hotel with pictures of the journey and experience, cause let’s be real, how often does a 20 something give up everything they know and pursue their dream job? Oh right, everyday. Be brave people, get out there!